Hello, I miss you miss you miss you

This morning, as I am getting the kids ready for the day have the urge to throw my pajama's back on, get the kids and some blankets and snuggle in for the day. I get this way some days....it's as if I don't go through the same thing every day. It's hard to say goodbye, even if it's just for a few hours. Even if you think you are used to it.

As Ella is showing me how big she is putting her shoes on, I just want to stop her, and squeeze her - feel her soft skin on my cheek - and force her to remain 2 forever. Can that be done to a person? I will hold them in the vortex that is my mind until it bursts and they cannot be contained anymore or until they get sick of me. That will probably happen first...hehe

Maybe this is why I feel the need to take so many pictures. When they are at school or daycare and I am at work...they are so terribly missed. And plus, what good lookin' kids!!!
Sometimes even when they are right there, staring at me, probably knowing at any moment that I am going to grab them up and anticipating it by deciding to give in or run away....I am missing them. How silly is this?


I have heard and read of the "wars" of the stay at home mom's against the working mom's, but I have never felt myself to be a part of that. It's too draining don't you think to have a continuous argument that you know will never end because it's based on opinion only? It would be nice to stay at home though. Either way, I see both sides. I just don't think it's worth spending so much energy fighting about. Anyways........................................

Someday or some where years from now (or days - I'm not so choosy) wherever you end up - Gage and Ella, will you please look back over your shoulder and say that you understand? I never thought I would feel the need to be accepted by anyone or anything....or care if the world thought I was good or bad at whatever I decided to do. The truth is, I am not a poet, I am no artist or writer. I am a Mom. I chose it and I will live it every day for the rest of my life. This is something I have that will never grow old or rusty, but only more polished and refined. My kids are not my canvas' but of their own making. I will watch them grow and love them with all I've got, good or bad. So I think when it comes down to it...I do care what they think. Just them though. Maybe I will grow out of it. :o)

Now if I can miss someone this much that I see every day - how much do you think I miss you? Oh what a heavy hearted soul. ha ha