Is this Stress or just Me?

I am developing an intimate relationship with the elephant in the room, the tingling sensation on my scalp and the lump in my chest.  The burning sensation behind my eyes, the fast patter of my heart and the doubt in my head are all becoming  a part of who I have expected myself to be.  My own comfort and happiness often takes a back seat for my fear to hurt someone’s feelings and make them happy.  I don’t make time for myself and when I do it is deep pitted guilt that reels me back in. 

Pressure to be the peacemaker, to make others feel special.  

how do you free yourself from this?  Self confidence... less caring...change your surrounding?  Maybe all of the above.... maybe its not possible.  Maybe who you are born to be is just who you are.

Funny thing is, no one has these expectations for anyone else... but when they come to expect people to be a certain way and do certain things they realize and take offense when things change.  And the exact thing I try to avoid becomes a reality.

For the mom....

First Day of School Pics

Had to post a few frequently asked for pictures of the kiddos....

The kids and I went yesterday to my good friend Jaime's house. We picked apples from her tree and took them to Hartman reserve and made apple cider. It was extremely good. We also went on a little hike with one of the naturalists. We collected bugs and seeds. I took the seeds home and the kids got to feed the bugs and worms they found to all the little critters living in the nature center. They, of course, had a blast watching the turtles eat the worms and the lizards and toads eat the other various bugs. Then today while Wade and Gage were at football practice, Ella and I made apple sauces with some of the other apples we picked. It is pretty darn good too. What shall I make next? Apple crisp? Apple Pie? Apple cake? This time of year (well any time of year) I cannot get enough apples.