The Sickly Sweet Carnival

This year Father's day for Wade was overshadowed by the many vultures circling' o'er his head. One of them being me. See - my sister and I gifted our own dad with our wonderful selves as father's day gifts in the late 70's. Ever since then, duh, my birthday has fallen extremely close if not on Father's day. This year my birthday was on Saturday - Father's day on Sunday. So it worked out......except for the fair.
Oh the wonderful fair.
I will start out with our Father's day morning.
The kids and I got up a wee bit earlier than usual so we could get out of the house and off to get breakfast undetected. We went to Panera because I cannot get enough of the spinach artichoke baked egg souffle's. Oh man, they are so good, but you have to get there early. If you aren't there in line early (on a Sunday 8:30 is early to me) you either won't get one at all, or should you choose what is behind door number two, you can wait 30 min or longer. Any hoots, the kids were so perfect. They out shined me ten fold. They stood patiently. They unusually used all manners known to man. Gage entertained Ella in a nearby booth while I waited for my I.C. Caramel Largo (naughty) to be made. Then when we were all ready to head home, Gage asked me where his fruit smoothie was. Oh boy - kudos to you super mom. So wrapped up in your dang drink, you forgot the smoothie. How smooth.
I give my million apologies and tell him I will stand back in line for the smoothie. And as I turn to look at the line, growing like an army of ants crawling out of an ant hill, Gage says it's OK, he will just have water. I ask him over and over again, annoyingly, if he is sure. I tell him that I will stand in line for him - and he says no, water is fine. I felt awful even though he was fine with it.
I grabbed our plethora of souffles and pastries and we headed home.
On the way home, we talked about trying to be on our best behavior all day to give dad a break from the madness that is our house. They were so excited to do this - so excited to want to please us by being great kids - even though they are anyways. You know what though?
Kids will be kids, no matter what and whoever they are, they are kids. And kids will always be kids. What I am getting at is that I should never have asked or expected a different kind of behavior from them just because it's Father's day. They are who they are. And this reminded me of a quote I read once and will never forget:

"Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee " - David Frost

It's so true.

They ended up being on each other's nerves all day. ALL day people!!
So I thought, OK, we will go to the fair, we will have fun - the end.
The fair is only a few blocks away from us. It's all part of Hiawatha's "Hog Wild Days". This is the 24th year of fairs, fireworks and parade fun. For us the 3rd or 4th.
If you were in Iowa on Sunday June 17th this year, you know it was HOT and sticky. Not fair weather.
We ate our usual fair lunch at the Hope Church tent. They have good eats for cheap.
Then we went and got our wristbands. Wade and I both got them this year too because we thought Gage would want to go on more rides, but wouldn't want to go alone. So they started off riding a couple of kiddie rides. Then Wade went in this crazy obstacle, climbing course with the kids a hundred times until the carnival man kicked him off. HA ha he he ~ Was his wristband wearing too thin?? I don't get it. Maybe he was taking up space from the soon to arrive ticket holding people? Oh well.
Then a couple more kiddie rides as we watched and high-five'd each time they went around and around and 'round again. Played a couple of games. Finally Gage and I decided we should hit the tilt-a-whirl. I haven't been on one of those in years. Boy was I excited. It started off OK, then the spinning got faster and faster. I am getting dizzy re-living it. I got off and instantly felt sick. I wasn't going to let that stop our fun though! More kiddie rides - high fives - round and round.........erg. The smells of burning rubber - exhaust from the generators. Guy running the Ferris wheel chain smoking. Dented beat up rides. Women wearing next to nothing. Things I never noticed until I was a mother.
Finally - almost time to go. Last stop - ping pong drop. We are hot, we are tired. We are ready to leave, but we aren't leaving with out our free prize. Our fair trophy. All the kids gather round this crane and wait for the ping pong balls to come spilling out like a waterfall of gold dubloons. The kids, like herds of mice, scurry over one on top of the other in age groups to collect one of the balls with a number on it. Each number determines what table you get to choose a prize from. Gage gets #1, Ella #16.
Gage gets to pick from the "dollar prize table". Ella gets to pick from the "5 dollar prize table".
MAJOR problems. Gage had a complete meltdown. He picked a prize, then thew it down on the ground. He screamed and cried. Of course everyone stared at me - probably thinking "What are you going to do with your monster of a child lady!"
Even if they were looking on sympathetically - I just don't need it. I offer a crooked smile and a comment like - "Oh kids, we've all been here." Then I take Gage by his arm and make him sit in time out. Time out at the fair next to a food vendor selling funnel cakes - wich we failed to enjoy in the turmiol - with burning eyes examining your every move. I know he was wrong. I know he should have been grateful that he got a prize at all. I know that he was acting very inappropriately, and believe me, we talked about it later. Had a long talk. But looking back - I wish I would have tried to calm him down. Instead of reacting so quickly. I know time out is not a bad thing. We practice it religiously. I guess I felt like I exploited his sadness and mental breakdown for all to see. I mean, I am an old lady compared to him and I still have breakdowns occasionally. Just in the comfort of my own home.
So anyways, he was "punished". He lost his privilege of playing game boy for a while and had to vacuum the living room. Maybe I am a push over. Maybe I am not hard enough on him.
Or maybe I just have lassoed the power to walk in other's shoes. Either way, I felt like I should have been more something. More motherly? More understanding? It's done. We are OK. It's not the first time and I'm sure not the last. I will try to take something away from this (as usual as I continue on.
Stop, breathe and remember. Oh yeah ~ And don't stare. hehehe

If you haven't been privy enough to walk in shoes like these, imagine a it for a moment. I promise it will help the next grocery shopping trip you take. There are always children breaking down like old used cars at the grocery store. Sputtering for that last stretch while their parents are pushing and pushing them along, hoping for a jump start.

The vultures of father's day - they were plentiful!! Sorry Wade!! We still love you - but shucks, you know that!!

Heart to Heart
hand in hand
together or apart
never alone I stand

Soul to Soul
check to cheek
my night dark as coal
if my day is bleak

My Sister, My Sun
will light the sky
a friendship of one
a true friend of mine.

You are my sister heart to heart,
your hand in my hand.
You are my sister soul to soul,
your cheek to my cheek.


I love you Sis - Happy Birthday!

The Araneide Revealed

Ok, here it is. You may want to put down your chicken salad sandwich for this post. I have waited a tad too long to take a portrait of this poor creature. He is starting to decay and has stuck to the side of the glass jar. Imagine - I open the lid fretfully because there is some inkling in the back of my mind that even though he is melting before me, he may still be alive. The smell is horrendous. Now - to make all of you believers - I have to take my junky camera that does not allow for zooming to my eye and put my face as close as humanly possible to this decaying death causing fellow and try to take a snap shot or two. Here he is. We were not friends in life, but have become WAY to close for comfort in death. :)

He is on his side.



Tried to get a close up of his....er....face?

Even as I am writing this, I am looking over my shoulder. Even though I know he is in a jar, lid tight, in the garage. Funny how you don't even know what you are afraid of until you come face to face with it.

I think it was a brown recluse, this is a picture I found on the web that looks very similar to what this guy looked like when we first saw him.

Cabin Fever

We kicked off our summer this year with a weekend stay at Pinicon Ridge park. The scenery is breathtaking in most places and a great spot to spend time enjoying nature. We stayed once before when Gage was barely 4 years old and it proved once again to be a really great time. Mom, Raelinn and Zach were able to join us and we couldn't have been happier to have them there. We spent a lot of time exploring the hiking trails, we climbed the observation tower, did a little fishing and of course enjoyed our time by the camp fire.

elk at the nature center
camp fire and S'mores
buddies
Rae-yinn, someday I am going to be just like you.
My cousin is so cool!

The gang is here!
On top of the tower. You can't see I am shaking!
Back to my tomboy roots Hiking the trail
Checking out a stream on our hike
looking down from the wooden bridge

Forest stairs? - why not.

Back down the stairs. Back in the stream

Hey kid, have you done this before?

"I'm trying to fish here!"

So patientLooking for just the right spot.

We had a really great time. The kids really enjoyed spending almost every moment outside and of course the big kids did too.

Oh, I almost forgot about the tarantula.

Right as we were packing up to leave, as I was sweeping the cabin floors - I spotted it. A monstrous tarantula!! It had me trapped in the bathroom, blocking my only exit from the cabin. I knew it was about to attack. I called for help. No one heard me. I called for help again.....nothing. It was staring at me, waiting for my escape attempt. I had no choice. I leaped with all of my might (and my eyes closed) over the broom that was harboring this creature. I hoped for a cat like landing and succeeded. I ran from the cabin yelling for someone. Anyone. Finally my wails for safety were heard.

Wade, Mom the kids and I tiptoed in to inspect. I knew it was going to be gone and I would have to shamefully try to explain my crazy outburst. Alas, there it was - still staring - waiting in the exact same spot. Wade bravely grabbed Ella's bug net and captured the beast. The kids stared on, hearts beating wildly.

Then I hear Ella in a tiny squeaky whisper. "Oh, he is so cute mommy."

Then Gage in a louder more annoyed voice "Geez Mom, it's dead, what were you freaking out for?"

Stay tuned in my next post for the picture. Oh yeah, I saved this beast of a spider. I knew no one would believe me.

Hello, I miss you miss you miss you

This morning, as I am getting the kids ready for the day have the urge to throw my pajama's back on, get the kids and some blankets and snuggle in for the day. I get this way some days....it's as if I don't go through the same thing every day. It's hard to say goodbye, even if it's just for a few hours. Even if you think you are used to it.

As Ella is showing me how big she is putting her shoes on, I just want to stop her, and squeeze her - feel her soft skin on my cheek - and force her to remain 2 forever. Can that be done to a person? I will hold them in the vortex that is my mind until it bursts and they cannot be contained anymore or until they get sick of me. That will probably happen first...hehe

Maybe this is why I feel the need to take so many pictures. When they are at school or daycare and I am at work...they are so terribly missed. And plus, what good lookin' kids!!!
Sometimes even when they are right there, staring at me, probably knowing at any moment that I am going to grab them up and anticipating it by deciding to give in or run away....I am missing them. How silly is this?


I have heard and read of the "wars" of the stay at home mom's against the working mom's, but I have never felt myself to be a part of that. It's too draining don't you think to have a continuous argument that you know will never end because it's based on opinion only? It would be nice to stay at home though. Either way, I see both sides. I just don't think it's worth spending so much energy fighting about. Anyways........................................

Someday or some where years from now (or days - I'm not so choosy) wherever you end up - Gage and Ella, will you please look back over your shoulder and say that you understand? I never thought I would feel the need to be accepted by anyone or anything....or care if the world thought I was good or bad at whatever I decided to do. The truth is, I am not a poet, I am no artist or writer. I am a Mom. I chose it and I will live it every day for the rest of my life. This is something I have that will never grow old or rusty, but only more polished and refined. My kids are not my canvas' but of their own making. I will watch them grow and love them with all I've got, good or bad. So I think when it comes down to it...I do care what they think. Just them though. Maybe I will grow out of it. :o)

Now if I can miss someone this much that I see every day - how much do you think I miss you? Oh what a heavy hearted soul. ha ha